If you are new, the Start Here page is the best place to get oriented. It explains the Trail Markers and the larger journey behind this work.
Naming What Matters
Last week I wrote about how momentum isn’t purpose. In fact, coasting on momentum can keep you from finding the things that truly matter and make you happy. This week, I want to share the pivots I left out—the ones that built to the violent snap that broke the spell. Because momentum can carry you for a while, but when life hits hard, you realize you need something sturdier.
The Jobs
Towards the end of my time on the Innovation Team—our leader was leaving and others didn’t see the need for it (short‑sighted again, a real theme in corporate America!)—I was asked to participate in a global HR standardization project and lead a portion of it. My leader felt it would give me the exposure I needed in corporate as well as experience in the global space that could lead me back to Talent Acquisition—my dream job again. Coupled with a friend and former HR business partner taking over HR, it seemed like things were lining up nicely.
I didn’t get it. Again. At the time, I was downright upset. Later, after reflection, I realized it was me. My lack of overall HR background was holding me back. So I made a move to Organizational Development to broaden my experience.
After four wonderful years in OD, another leader moved on. Actually, all three people who had championed the team either retired or moved to other roles. We were shifted to an unrelated team under a no‑nonsense leader who had zero skin in the game. Without the support of innovators, the team was reduced from 14 to 2 earlier‑career roles. The company and our new boss handled the transition with care, but it was still a shock.
I had the chance to look for another role—I tried in a few areas, but I wasn’t the right fit. Truthfully, it was mutual. I stopped looking and accepted the package. It was time to move on. What I didn’t know then was how this, coupled with other events, would reshape my worldview.
The Accumulation
It wasn’t just one event—it was a cascade:
- A kid who needed drug rehab
- Covid reshaping everything we thought was secure
- My wife’s disability journey—her story, but one that reshaped our family’s goals and finances
- Job loss
- My dad’s death
- The death of George Floyd, which forced reflection on justice, legacy, and humanity
Each one pressed harder, until the weight was undeniable.
The Violent Snap
The snap wasn’t only pain—it was clarity. It broke the illusion that momentum could carry me, or that status could define me.
One of the hardest moments was watching my kids choose not to pursue college immediately, while my peers—the “Joneses”—were touring Ivy League campuses and posting pictures of dorm visits and acceptance letters. That comparison game collapsed under the weight of real life. The snap forced me to admit: something had to change.
What Emerged
From the rubble came the harder, better question: What actually matters?
Before, I measured success by titles, possessions, and comparisons. After the snap, I measured it by whether my choices aligned with provision, stewardship, and legacy. Titles fade. Comparisons crumble. Momentum runs out. What endures are the values you choose to carry. That’s where purpose begins.
Too bad it took me until 55+ to figure it out, right?!
Models for Purpose
Two weeks ago, I took Dr. David Banks’ Purpose Fingerprint™ profile. It didn’t hand me something brand new—it tied together strings and paths I had already been creating. It was less about discovery and more about recognition, an Ah Ha moment if ever there was one.
The profile helped me see that the themes I’d been circling—provision, stewardship, legacy—weren’t scattered threads. They were part of a single pattern. It was exhilarating, and even more special because I did it in a group of strangers who also experienced their own epiphanies.
And here’s the thing: the Purpose Fingerprint™ is just one model. There are others—values frameworks, vision exercises, mind maps—and most share a common rhythm. They don’t invent purpose out of thin air. They help you:
- Notice what pulls at you—the stories, headlines, and issues that always catch your eye
- Name your core values—justice, provision, creativity, stewardship, family
- Imagine the vision—what life would look like if you lived fully aligned with those values
- Practice daily alignment—small choices that become trail markers, steps that either align or pull you off course
Purpose isn’t found in a test result—it’s built by recognizing the trail you’ve already been walking, and then choosing to walk it with
Trail Marker #1: Naming What Matters 🪧
So here’s Trail Marker #1: Naming What Matters. Write down three things that matter most to you right now. Don’t worry if they’re messy or imperfect. Just name them. Because once you name them, you’ve taken the first step beyond momentum, beyond status, toward a purpose that can hold when life snaps hard.
When the next storm, pivot, or mess comes—and it will—those three named things become anchors. They remind you what holds when everything else shifts. Purpose doesn’t arrive fully formed—it’s built one marker at a time.
Unlike my friend Dr. Banks, I don’t think you are born with your purpose. I think it changes and evolves with your life. Your core values tend to stay the same. So start with three words, three values, three truths that matter most to you today. They’ll guide you when the trail gets steep, and they’ll remind you why you’re walking it at all.
This is where the trail begins. The next marker is waiting.
Trail Marker #2: Protecting What Matters (Teaser)
Once you’ve named what matters, the next challenge is protecting it. Because naming values is one thing—living them when the world presses in is another. Trail Marker #2 is about building guardrails: habits, boundaries, and rhythms that keep your values from being eroded by comparison, distraction, or fear. If Trail Marker #1 is about clarity, Trail Marker #2 is about resilience.
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